I don't get it.
Raah!
I'll just take your show cards.
Yaah!
And whatever you got in the hole.
What the... there ain't nothin' but a damn toad.
No, you don't understand. That's Pete.
Pete.
You know these give you warts?
End of lesson.
So long, boys. Hee hee hee!
See you in the funny papers.
Y'all seen the end of Big Dan Teague.
Where are they? Talk, you unreconstructed whelp of a whore!
Where they headed?
- Aah! - Your screams won't save your flesh.
- Aah! - Only your tongue is, boy.
- Where they headed? - Aah!
Whoa, hound.
Sweet summer rain.
Like God's own mercy.
Your two friends have abandoned you, Pete.
They don't seem to care about your hide.
OK.
Stairway to heaven, Pete.
We shall all meet by and by.
God damn it!
God forgive me!
Hold.
Believe me, Delmar, he would have wanted us to press on.
Pete, rest his soul, was one sourass son of a bitch
and not given to pointless sentimentality.
It don't seem right getting the treasure without him.
Maybe it's for the best he was squished.
Why, he... was barely a sentient being and...
when we clean up and get a little smellum in our hair,
we're gonna feel 100% better about ourselves
and about... life in general.
Must be near Parchment Farm.
Sorry sons of bitches.
Seems like a year ago we busted off the farm.
Pete got a brother?
Not that I'm aware.
Heat must be getting to me.
# Oh, the storm and its fury raged today
# Crushing hope that we cherished so dear
# The cloud and storm will in time pass away
# And the sun again will shine bright and clear
# Keep on the sunny side
# Always on the sunny side
# Keep on the sunny side of life
# It will help us every day
# It will brighten all the way
# If we'll keep on the sunny side of life
# If we'll keep on the sunny side of life #
That was wonderful. That sure was. Yes.
Now, I know The Sunnysiders would agree with me
when I say that the great state of Mississippi
cannot afford four more years of Pappy O'Daniel!
Four more years of cronyism!
Nepotism! Rascalism!
Of service to the interests!
Now, the choice, she's a clear 'un.
Pappy O'Daniel, slave of the interests...
Homer Stokes, servant of the little man. Right, little fella?
He ain't lyin'!
Ladies and gentlemen, the little man has admonished me
to grasp the broom of reform
and sweep this state clean!
It's gonna be, "Back to the flour mill, Pappy!"
The interests can handle themselves!
Come Tuesday, we're gonna sweep the rascals out!
Clean government is yours for the asking!
Folks, now the little Wharvey gals!
Wharvey gals? Did he just say "little Wharvey gals?"
Come here, girls.
What y'all gonna sing for us?
"In the Highways".
- God damn it all! - You know them gals, Everett?
# In the highways
# In the hedges
# In the highways
# In the hedges
# In the highways
# In the hedges
# I'll be somewhere a-working for my Lord
# I'll be somewhere a-working
# I'll be somewhere a-working for my Lord
# I'll be somewhere a-working
# I'll be somewhere a-working for my Lord #
Hey, girls!
Daddy! Daddy!
Ha ha ha!
Daddy? He ain't our daddy.
Hell I ain't. What's this Wharvey? You're McGills.
Not since you got hit by that train.
What? I wasn't hit by a train.
- Mama says you was hit by a train. - Blooey! Nothin' left.
Just a grease spot on the L & N.
Damn it, I wasn't hit by any train!
Mama's got us back to Wharvey.
- That's her maiden name. - You got a maiden name, Daddy?
Daddy don't have a maiden name...
That's your misfortune.
- And now mama's got a new beau. - He's a suitor.
Yeah, I heard about that.
Mama says he's bona fide.
Mmm. He give her a ring?
Yes, sir. A big 'un.
- Gold and gems. - Mama checked it.
- It's bona fide. - He's a suitor.
- What's his name? - Vernon T. Waldrip.
- Uncle Vernon. - Till tomorrow.
Then he's Daddy.
I am the only daddy you got. I am the damn pater familias.
But you ain't bona fide.
Where's your mama?
- At the five-and-dime. - Buying nipples.
# This way
# To take me home
# Kiss me more... #
- Daddy! - Hello, sugar! Ha ha!
How's my little girl?
Hi.
- Who the hell's that? - Starla Wharvey.
Starla McGill, you mean.
- You never told me. - Cos you was hit by a train.
Why are you telling our gals I was hit by a train?
Lots of respectable people been hit by trains.
Judge Hobby was hit by a train.
What was I supposed to say,
that you were jailed and I divorced you from shame?
I take your point. But it puts me in an awkward spot vis à vis my progeny.
Hello, Penny. Is this gentleman bothering you?
You Waldrip?
Uh-huh. That's right.
Hmm.
You been using my hair treatment?
Your hair treatment?
Excuse me.
I got news. In case you hadn't noticed, I wasn't hit by a train,
and I have traveled many a weary mile
to be back with my wife and my six daughters.
- Seven, Daddy! - That ain't your daddy, Alvanelle.
Your daddy was hit by a train.
Penny, you stop that!
You stop it! Vernon here's got a job.
Vernon's got prospects. He's bona fide. What are you?
I'll tell you what I am...
I'm the pater familias, and you can't marry him!
I can, I am and I will, tomorrow.
I gotta think about the Wharvey gals.
They look to me for answers.
Vernon can buy 'em lessons on the clarinet.
The only good thing you ever did was get hit by that train!
Well, you lying, unconstant succubus.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't swear at my fiancée!
Oh, yeah? Well, you can't marry my wife!
Who is that man?
He's not my husband.
Just a drifter, I guess. Just some no-account drifter.
And stay out of the Woolsworth!
'I'll bet she does imitations, too.'
Deceitful, two-faced she-wolf.
Never trust a female, Delmar.
Remember that precept and your time with me won't have been ill-spent.
- OK, Everett. - "Hit by a train."
Truth means nothing to a woman, Delmar.
Triumph of the subjective. You ever been with a woman?
Well, I've... I got to get the family farm back
before I can start thinking about that.
That's right. IF then.
Believe me, a woman's the most fiendish instrument of torture
ever devised to bedevil the days of man.
Everett, I never figured you for a pater familias.
Ohh, yes. I have spread my seed.
And look what it's...
God damn it. What the hell...?
OK, boys. Enjoy your picture show.
# I have no money, honey
# How can I change?
Do... not... seek the treasure.
Do not... seek the treasure.
It's a bushwhack.
They're fixin' an ambush.
Do not seek the treasure.
We... we thought you was...
a toad.
We... thought... you... was... a... toad.
Do not seek the treasure.
Quiet there! Watch the picture!
I signed that bill.
I signed a dozen agriculture bills.
Everyone knows I'm a friend of the farmer.
What I gotta do, start diddling livestock?
We can't do that, Daddy. We might offend our constituency.
We ain't got a constituency! Stokes got a constituency!
Well, it's a well-run campaign.
Midget and broom and whatnot.
- Devil his due. - Hell of an organization.
- Say, I got an idea. - What's that, Junior?
We can hire us a little fella even smaller than Stokes's.
You slump-shouldered sack of nuts!
We'd look like a bunch of johnny-come-latelys
bringin' out our own midget.
Don't matter how stumpy!
That's the goddam problem, people think Stokes has got fresh ideas.
He's au courant and we're the past!
It's a problem of...
- Perception. - Right.
- He's pulling our pants down. - Gonna paddle some behind.
Ain't gonna paddle it. Gonna kick it.
- No, he's gonna paddle it. - That's not a proper description.
- That's how I'd characterize it. - It's more of a kickin' situation.
God... God forgive me.
I could not gaze upon that fireshow.
Pete.
- Hold still! - Can't... stand much longer.
It was... it was a mo-moment of weakness.
Quit babblin', we gotta skedaddle.
That's all I got.
They lured me out for a bathe
and then they dunked me, trussed me up like a hog,
and turned me in for the bounty.
Shoulda guessed it. Typical womanly behavior.
We're lucky we left before they came back.
We didn't abandon you, Pete.
We just thought you was a toad.
No, they never did turn me into a toad.
Well, that was our mistake, then.
We was beat up by a Bible salesman and banished from Woolworths.
Everett, was it the one branch or all of them?
Well, I ain't had it easy, either, boys.
Frankly, uh, well, I...
I spilt my guts about the treasure.
Huh?
I'm awful sorry I betrayed you, fellas.
Must be my Hogwallop blood.
That's all right, Pete.
Awful white of you to take it like that, Everett.
I feel wretched.
Spoiling your play for a million dollar point two.
You should rip out my guts.
No, that's all right.
You boys are true friends! Ohh!
You're my beaucoup friends.
Pete, I don't want you to beat yourself up about this, eh?
I can't help it, but that's a... a wonderful thing to say.
Yeah. Pete, uh...
Well, fact of the matter is...
Damn it...
There ain't no treasure.
Fact of the matter is there never was.
But...
So where's all the money from the armored car job?
I never knocked over no armored car.
I was sent up for practicing law without a license.
- But... - I had to bust out.
My wife wrote me she was getting married, I gotta stop it.
I had two weeks left on my sentence.
I couldn't wait, wedding's tomorrow.
My added time for the escape, I don't get out now till 19... 87.
I am sorry about that.
I'll be... 84 years old.
I guess they'll tack on 50 years for me, too.
Boys, we was chained together. I had to tell you something.
Busting out alone was not an option. I'm sorry.
84 years old.
Well, I'll only be 82.
You! You ruined my life!
You ruined my life!
I do apologize, Pete.
84 years old! I'm becoming Papillon!
Delmar!
Now, boys. Boys.
# Eeny meeny meiny mo
# Oh hi lo hi
# Oh hi lo
# Oh oh-ohhhh... #
# Oh death
# Whoa death
# Won't you spare me over till another year?
# Well, I am death, none can excel
# I'll open the door to heaven or hell
# Whoa, death, someone would pray
# Could you wait to call me another day?
# Children pray... #
That's Tommy. They got Tommy!
Noose.
# No longer prayin'... #
Sweet Jesus, we got to save him.
# I'll fix your feet till you can't walk
# I'll lock your jaw till you can't talk
# I'll close your eyes so you can't see
- # It's very dark... # - The color guard.
# Death, I come to take the soul
# Leave the body and leave it cold
# Oh death
# Whoa death
# Won't you spare me over till another year? #
Brothers!
Oh, brothers!
We have all gathered here to preserve our hallowed culture and heritage
from intrusion, inclusion and dilution
of color, of creed,
and of our old-time religion.
We aim to pull evil up by the root
before it chokes out the flower of our culture and heritage.
And our women, let's not forget those ladies, y'all,
looking to us for protection
from darkies, from Jews, from papists,
and from all those smart-ass folks
say we come descended from monkeys.
- That's not my culture and heritage. - Yes!
Is it yours?
No!
And so...
we gonna hang us a Negro.
Hooray!
I ain't never harmed you, neither of you gentlemen.
Uh...
Mm-hmm.
I ain't never harmed nobody.
- Hey, hey, Tommy. - Huh?
Tommy, we come to rescue you.
That's mighty kind of you boys,
but I don't think nothing's going to save me now.
The devil's come to collect his due.
Don't be crazy, Tommy.
You don't wanna get hanged.
Well, naw, I don't reckon I do,
but that's the way it's working out.
Tommy, I got a plan.
No!
The color guard is colored.
Who made them the color guard?
Run, boys!
Whoa!
No, no, son!
Can't let that flag touch the ground!
Get your hands off me.
I can do this myself, get away from me.
We should hire this man away.
- Good idea, Pappy. - Hell of an idea.
- Can't beat 'em, join 'em. - He'll join us, run our campaign.
- Power, wealth... - No one says no to Pappy O'Daniel.
- Not with his blandishments. - And powers of persuasion.
- What's his name again? - The campaign manager?
- Waldrip. - Vernon Waldrip.
- Vernon T. Waldrip. - Hmm.
It's invitation only.
- We'll have to sneak in. - Hold on.
Wait a minute.
Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Since we've been following your lead, we got nothing but trouble.
I've gotten this close to being strung up
and consumed in a fire and whipped no end
and sunstroked and soggied.
And turned into a frog.
He wasn't turned into a frog.
Almost loved up, though.
So, you're against me now, too?
Is that how it is, boys?
The whole world and God Almighty... now you?
I guess I deserve it.
Boys...
I know that I made some tactical mistakes,
but if you just stick with me, I got a plan.
Believe me, we can fix this thing.
I'll get my wife back, we'll leave.
Goddam disgrace!
Made a travesty of the entire evening.
Ohh! What I wouldn't give to get a hold of those agitators.
Whoever heard of such behavior, even amongst the colored?
Mulattos, maybe. I suspect some miscegenation in their heritage.
Using a Confederate flag as a missile!
Crazy! No one's ever gonna believe we're a real band.
I just gotta get close enough to talk to her.
Comin' with us got more future than marrying a guy called Waldrip.
I'm goddam bona fide. I got the answers.
Everett, my beard itches.
Hey, hey!
"In the Jailhouse Now", fellas. Neighborhood of B.
Psst!
Penny. Ahem.
- It's me. - No.
Honey!
# I had a friend named Ramblin' Bob
# He used to steal, gamble and rob
# He thought he was the smartest guy around
# Well, I... #
We're leaving the state, pursuing opportunities in another venue.
I got big plans.
Not minstrels, I'm going to be a dentist.
I know this guy who'll print me up a license.
# He's in the jailhouse now
# Well, I told him once or twice
# To stop playin' cards and a-shootin' dice
# He's in the jailhouse now
# Ah hee yodel-lay-hee-hoo
# Yo heeeeee
# Ah dee yodel-lay-hee
# Oh de-lo tee
# Yodel-lay-hee hee, yodel-lay-hee hee
# Yodel-lay-heeeee
# Bob liked to play his poker... #
Why, that is an improper suggestion.
L-I-I can't switch sides in the middle of a campaign...
especially to work for a man who lacks moral fiber.
Moral fiber? Why, you pasty-face son'bitch.
I invented moral fiber.
Pappy was displaying rectitude when that egghead you work for
was still messin' his drawers!
- Psst! Honey. - Go away.
I want to be what you want me to be, honey.
I want you and the gals to come with me.
# To stop playin' cards and a-shootin' dice... #
What are you doing here, Pappy?
Someone let on we were giving out liquor.
You'll laugh out the other side of your face November.
Pappy'll be laughin' then.
- Not out the other side of his face. - Just the regular side.
# Yodel-lay-hee hee, yodel-lay-hee hee
# Yodel-lay-heeeeee #
They're my daughters, too, Penny.
Ain't you ever heard of...?
# In constant sorrow
# I am the man
# Of constant sorrow
# I've seen trouble... #
Hot damn! It's the Soggy Bottom Boys!
# I bid farewell
# To old Kentucky
# The place where I was born and raised
# The place where he
# Was born and raised... #
Whoo!
Holy moly! These boys are a hit!
But, Pappy, they's integrated.
Wait a minute.
Folks don't mind they's integrated.
You's miscegenated. All you boys is miscegenated!
Gimme a microphone!
These boys is not white. Hell, they ain't even old-timey.
I happen to know, ladies and gentlemen,
that this band of miscreants, this very evening,
interfered with a lynch mob in the performance of its duties.
It's true!
See, I belong to a certain secret society.
I don't believe I gotta mention its name, you know?
Let 'em play! Go on!
Hmm.
And these boys here,
they trampled all over our venerated observances and rituals.
This here music is over, all right?
And I have... No! Hey!
Hey, I ain't... listen to me.
Folks, listen to me. I...
These boys desecrated a fiery cross.
We's all havin' a good time!
And they's convicts, folks, fugitives escaped off the farm.
Now, folks, these boys gotta be remanded to the authorities.
Criminals!
And I have it from the highest authority
that that Negro sold his soul to the devil!
Oh!
W-W-Wait a minute, folks. It's true!
Wait a minute.
Is you is, or is you ain't my constituency?
No!
Is you is, or is you ain't my constituency?
No!
Is you is...
Is you is, or is you ain't my constituency?
Oh, come on, folks.
No. It's Homer now.
I'm a friend of the little man.
This is not fair! Hey! Come on!
Come on, we got a little misunderstanding here. God damn!
# It's fair to tell
# My only lover
# I never expect
# To see you again
# For I'm bound to ride
# That northern railroad
# Perhaps I'll die upon that train
# Perhaps he'll die upon his train... #
God damn! Opportunity knocks!
Get out of my way!
# I'm just a stranger
# In case you ever
# See your man... #
# But there is one promise
# That is given
# I'll meet you on
# God's golden shore
# He'll meet you on
# God's golden shore #
That's fine. That's fine!
Ladies and gentlemans,
here and listening at home,
the great state of Mississippi...
Pappy O'Daniel, Governor...
wants to thank the Soggy Bottom Boys for that wonderful performance.
And it looks like the only man in this great state
who ain't a music lover
is my esteemed opponent in the upcoming, Homer Stokes.
There ain't no accounting for taste.
Sounded to me like he was harboring a hateful grudge
against the Soggy Bottom Boys
on account of their rough and rowdy past.
Looks like Homer Stokes is the kind of fellow
who wants to cast the first stone.
Well, I'm with you, folks.
I'm a forgive-and-forget Christian, and I say...
if their rambunctiousness and misdemeanoring is behind them...
It is, ain't it?
Yes, sir, it is.
Well, then, I say,
by the power vested in me,
these boys is hereby pardoned!
And furthermore...
in the second Pappy O'Daniel administration,
these boys is gonna be my brain trust!
What's that mean, Everett?
Well, it means you and me and Pete and Tommy are gonna be
the power behind the throne, so to speak.
Oh, OK.
So, without further ado, and by way of endorsing my candidacy,
the Soggy Bottom Boys
is gonna lead us all in a chorus of "You Are My Sunshine".
Ain't you, boys?
One of our favorites.
Son... you're gonna go far.
# You are my sunshine
# My only sunshine
# You make me happy
# When skies are grey
# You'll never know, dear
# How much I love you
# Please don't take
# My sunshine away #
I guess Vernon T. Waldrip is gonna be going on relief.
Maybe I can throw a little patronage his way,
get him a job digging or rounding up stray dogs.
So, is the marriage off, Miss Wharvey?
McGill. No. The marriage will take place as planned.
With a change of cast.
Me and the little lady are gonna pick up the pieces
and re-tie the knot, mixaphorically speaking.
You boys are invited, of course.
Hell, you're the best men.
I already got the rings.
- Where's your ring? - I ain't worn it since our divorce.
Must still be in the roll-top in the old cabin.
Vernon's was encrusted with jewels.
Now's the time to buy it off him cheap.
We ain't getting married with his ring. You said you'd changed.
- Just an old pewter thing. - Ain't no wedding.
- It's just a symbol, honey. - No wedding.
We'll fetch it with you.
It's just... Shut up, Delmar. It's just a symbol.
I've spoken my piece and counted to three.
She counted to three. God damn it.
She counted to three. Son of a bitch!
You have any idea how far that cabin is?
George?
Hello, boys!
These little men finally caught the criminal of the century.
Looks like the chair for George Nelson!
Yup, gonna electrify me. I'm gonna go off like a roman candle!
20,000 volts chasing a rabbit through yours truly!
Gonna suck all the power right out of the state!
Gonna shoot sparks out of my head and lightning from my fingertips!
I'm George Nelson, and I'm feeling ten feet tall!
Looks like George is right back on top again.
Cow killer!
Well, at least you boys get to see the ancestral manse,
the home where I spent so many a happy day in the bosom of my family
refugin', if you will, with a mighty oak tree out front
and a happy little tire swing on it.
Where's the happy little tire swing?
End of the road, boys.
- No. Wait a minute. - Let's go, boys.
It's had its twists and turns, now it deposits you here.
Wait a minute.
You have eluded fate and you have eluded me for the last time.
- Tie their hands, boys. - You can't do this, now.
Didn't know you'd be bringing a friend.
He'll just have to wait his turn, share one of your graves.
You can't do it, we just got pardoned by the governor.
- It went out on the radio. - Is that right?
Well, we ain't got a radio.
God have mercy.
# You
# Got to go
# To that lonesome valley
# You
# Whoa, got... #
It ain't fittin'.
It ain't the law.
- The law? - # To go... #
The law is a human institution.
# Nobody else
# Can go there for you, no... #
Perhaps you should start making your prayers.
# Whoa
# Got
# To go... #
Oh, my God. Everett?
Tommy, I'm sorry we got you into this.
Good Lord... What do we do?
# By yourself
# Whoa... #
Oh, Lord...
Please look down and recognize us poor sinners.
Please, Lord.
I just want to see my daughters again.
I've been separated from my family for so long.
I know I've been guilty of pride and sharp dealing.
I'm sorry I turned my back on you,
forgive me.
We're helpless, Lord.
For the sake of my family, for Tommy's sake.
For Delmar's and Pete's.
Let me see my daughters again, Lord.
Help us, please.
# You got to go
# To the lonesome valley
# Yes, sir, you, whoa
# Got
# To go
# There
# Hey
# By
# Yourself
# Nobody else
# Nobody else can go for you
# You, whoa
# Got
# To go
# There
# Ohh
# By
# Yourself
# Mmmm #
Ahh. Ahh.
- A miracle. It was a miracle! - Delmar, don't be ignorant.
I told you they was flooding this valley.
- No! That ain't it! - We prayed to God and he pitied us!
Well, it never fails.
Again, you hayseeds are showin' you want for intellect.
There's a perfectly scientific explanation.
That ain't the tune you was singin' back at the gallows!
Any human being'll cast about in a moment of stress.
No, they're flooding this valley
so they can hydroelectric up the whole darn state.
Yes, sir, the south is gonna change.
Everything's gonna run on a paying basis.
Out with the spiritual mumbo-jumbo and the backward ways.
We're gonna see a brave new world where they hook us all up to a grid.
Yes, a veritable age of reason.
Like the one they had in France. Not a moment too soon.
Hey, there's Tommy.
Tommy, what you ridin' there?
Unh! Whoa.
Roll-top desk.
# My latest sun is sinking fast
# My race is nearly run... #
"All's well that ends well," some poet said.
That's right, honey.
Don't mind telling you I'm awful pleased
my adventuring days have come to an end.
Time for this old boy to enjoy some repose.
That's good, honey.
You were right about that ring, too.
Any other wedding band wouldn't do.
This here was fore-ordained.
Fate was a-smilin' on me.
That's not my ring.
- What? Not your ring? - That's one of Aunt Herlene's.
- You said it was in the roll-top. - I said I thought it was.
- No, you said... - Or under the mattress.
Or maybe in my chifforobe.
Well, I'm sorry, honey.
We need that ring.
It's at the bottom of a durn big lake.
- Uh-uh. - A 9,000 hectare lake.
I don't care if it's 90,000. That lake was not my doing.
- I've counted to three. - No, wait, honey.
Finding one ring in the middle of all that water
- is one hell of a heroic task! - #... And gives me victory
# O, come, angel band
# Come and
# Around me stand
# O, bear me away on your snow white wings
# To my immortal home
# O, bear me away on your snow white wings
# To my immortal home #
# My latest sun is sinking fast
# My race is nearly run
# My strongest trials now are past
# My triumph has begun
# O, come
# Angel band
# Come and around me stand
# O, bear me away on your snow white wings
# To my immortal home
# O, bear me away on your snow white wings
# To my immortal home
# O, bear my longin' heart to him
# Who bled and died for me
# Whose blood now cleanses from all sin
# And gives me victory
# O, come
# Angel band
# Come and around me stand
# O, bear me away on your snow white wings
# To my immortal home
# O, bear me away on your snow white wings
# To my immortal home #
# There's a dark and a troubled side of life
# There's a bright and a sunny side, too
# Though we meet with darkness and strife
# The sunny side be also with you
# Keep on the sunny side
# Always on the sunny side
# Keep on the sunny side of life
# It will help us every day
# It will brighten all the way
# If we'll keep on the sunny side of life
# The storm and its fury broke today
# Crushing hopes that we cherished so dear
# Clouds and storms again will pass away
# And the sun will shine again, bright and clear
# Keep on the sunny side
# Always on the sunny side
# Keep on the sunny side of life
# It will help us every day
# It will brighten all the way
# If we'll keep on the sunny side of life
# Keep on the sunny side
# Always on the sunny side
# Keep on the sunny side of life
# It will help us every day
# It will brighten all the way
# If we'll keep on the sunny side of life
# If we'll keep on the sunny side of life #